HER BOAT

It was a nice boat, beautiful smooth wood and large enough for her to live on and to travel the world. It had good navigational instruments and a strong anchor, but the previous owner had been from a foreign land and couldn't tell her exactly what rough times and boat had been through and how he had handled them. There were a few rough spots on the deck and attachments. But she finally decided to buy the boat and put all of her belonging on it and make it her home.

She sailed around for many years. During that time, she worked on the boat, polishing it up and adding special touches and momentoes from the places she visited. After awhile the boat wasn't simple anymore, it had become a unique and wonderful creation and many people commented on how fantastic it was. She loved the boat, but she never found a solution for the rough spots and she often got cuts and scrapes when she was in a hurry.

She also had to be careful because the boat would sometimes tip and jerk suddenly to this side or that without warning. Sometimes this happened at the bottom of the wave's trough, when the waves were high and the sea active, but sometimes on a perfectly clear day the boat would suddenly twist and jerk for no apparent reason throwing her off balance. Still, she learned to make accommodations for these occasional mishaps by always keeping a hand of the ropes and being extra careful about where she stepped. Sometimes she thought of giving up her life at sea. "I wonder what it would be like to live on the land, where the earth was always steady beneath my feet", she thought.

One day she came upon a small island. It was perfectly round and had tall palm trees and beautiful white sandy beaches. The waves and storms blew around the island without touching it. The young woman moored her boat near the shore and swam over. She walked around and rested on the beach. She felt the gentle breeze and the soft sand. She felt relieved to be on land for a little while and get her stomach settled. Until she landed on the island, she had not realized that the pitching and twisting of her boat was affecting her sense of balance. After resting for a while, however, she decided to go back to her boat and move on. Although the island had been lovely, there was nothing for her to do on there and it was not her home.

She put out to sea and the sky became grey and the waves began to grow and the boat began to pitch and roll erratically. As the storm became worse she tried to gather the ropes and control the boat, but it was too strong for her. She and the boat had weathered other storms, but this one was different. During her stay on the little island she had lost her sea legs and now when the boat pitched and rolled, she felt too sick to do anything. Visions of the little island came up and she longed for the peace and calm that she had found there. She held on frantically and tried to ride out the storm. She went below and sat on the bunk as she listened to the wind and rain tearing at the boat and felt the boat heaving as it hit the gigantic waves. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine her feet on the steady sand of the little island. She felt sick and lay down as the world of the cabin swum before her eyes. She looked around the cabin and saw all the things that she had lovingly bought and installed in the boat. The boat was her life, she couldn't think what to do, she couldn't think, she couldn't think.

Suddenly she heard the sound of water rushing in and she hung on for dear life as the boat was drawn farther and farther down into the sea. It rolled and pitched so violently that she was thrown to the floor several times. She felt something jerking and tried to go up on deck to see if the ties had come loose. The mast was broken and the boat was tipped far to one side. As the boat heaved and twisted again, she fell onto the small life-raft tied to the side of the boat.

She held onto the ropes and released the raft from the boat. She was terrified to be alone in the storm on the small raft, so she kept her head down and held on for dear life. The raft was steadier than the boat had been and somehow carried her over the waves. Occasionally she looked back at her boat. It had not sunk, but it was still pitching violently. She wanted to go back a rescue it, but she couldn't. At last she reached the shore. She got out of the raft and pulled it up onto the shore beside her. She rested and tried to think, but she couldn't think at all.

She grieved for her boat and her belongings that were still on the boat. She grieved for her home and the way of life that she had had on the boat. She tried to understand how the storm had come up, how the boat had started to sink, and how she had lost it. She was grateful for the little raft being there, for saving her life, but she didn't want to go out onto the sea again.

She imagined her boat magically righting itself and floating back to shore. She imagined her boat being repaired and watching the men repair it. If the boat appeared magically in front of her, whole and steady, would she dare get in it again and go out on the ocean? If another storm came would the weakened boat roll and pitch again? Would the weakened parts give way, or would they be the stronger parts. Had the little life raft taken her too far down the shore and dropped her off where she couldn't get back to her boat. 

It would take an act of supreme will and courage to get back in the boat. The people on the shore said she should give up the boat and her home, and stay on the shore. The people on the shore said that getting back in the boat would be an act of shear stupidity, that the boat had made her sick and she should remember that. But she also remembered the times the boat had carried her and and how she had felt at one with the boat. Her boat had always been a bit erratic and tippy, but she had steered the boat and felt strong and independent. It had been her home and her life.